…be romantic …be mentally prepared to be a father …make your house babyproof …prepare for your partner's body changes …make the most of her pregnancy …deliver a baby in an emergency …comfort your wife in labor …help babies sleep …bond with your new baby …know when to call the baby's doctor …be Today’s Dad ...have great postpartum sex …say I love you to your child

…be romantic

1. Flowers are always a wonderful treat. Deliver them or have them delivered. Every woman loves flowers.
2. What else do women love? Exactly; chocolate. Don’t overdo it but get something really nice. Quality over quantity!
3. Take care of dinner. Go out to a nice restaurant or cook yourself. Your effort is a beautiful sign of your love.
4. Massage, massage, massage. Light some candles, get a nice fragrant oil and put on some light music. She will love the gesture and relax totally. Let her doze off or have great conversations.
5. Give her coupons: think of her worst house chores and then give her coupons. Whether you do it yourself or get others to help, she will be very happy because of your thoughtfulness.
6. Go on a date. It is fun, a romantic boost and can be a great escape if you already have children.
7. Make love, it's not out of the question. Realize and respect that she may not be in the mood. Also realize that there’re shops that sell maternity lingerie…

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…be mentally prepared to be a father

1. Changing a diapers is a challenge! Some call it a ‘near death experience’. It may the quantity or the smell, one or both will get you on your knees. But, of course it is a chore that you will share with the mother. Disposing of a diaper can be equally challenging. The only full proof method: a helmet with gas mask, a biochemical suit and rubber gloves!
2. Small children can hurt you. Of course they will never do it purposely, but they can. You may crash your toes into a toy, an unintended kick in the crotch or finger in your eye.
3. Your eating habits will change. Eating with the family is an important moment, but it means you can forget about junk food and will have to go back to types of food you may have forgotten: fresh vegetables, low fat sauces and fresh fruits.
4. You'll be exhausted at times. A child between 18 months and three years has more energy than a badminton pro. From the the moment they wake up and start to move until they are done protesting about going to bed, they create a whole new kind of dynamic environment. One average two-year old can ransack a room in less than 20 minutes.Your kitchen floor will never be clean again. Food will show up in the strangest forms in the strangest places you can possibly imagine. Expect to dig food items from between your toes at least once a week!
5. Putting in a car seat requires a master's degree in engineering. Buckles, bolts and straps that would keep your hyperactive baby down? Solution? Let your wife handle this one. She has more patience and will at least read the directions.
6. Children imitate what fathers do and say, and then repeat them at any given time or place. Just something to keep in mind...

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…make your house babyproof

1. Check the size of the baby’s mattress; it should fit in the crib tightly. You should only be able to slide one finger between the mattress and the side rails of the crib and head board. If it is wider than that, get a larger mattress.
2. Never put pillows, extra bedding, electric blankets, heating pads or stuffed animals in a crib. Babies can easily suffocate and it can happen quickly.
3. Make sure all screws, bolts and other hardware are securely installed to prevent the crib from collapsing.
4. Place a rug under the changing table and crib, which will prevent sliding as well as offer some cushion in case of a fall.
5. Keep fans out of your baby's reach.
6. Put some sort of padding on the edges of coffee tables and corners of cupboards. Just a little padding can prevent a big bump, bruise or cut on the head. Many corners are just at crawling height and are risky.
7. Secure your entertainment equipment. Make sure that cables for TV, stereos, DVD players etc are shortened. Also make sure that your equipment is stable and will not top over. Bookshelves and entertainment centers should be anchored to the wall if possible, to prevent them from tipping over.
8. Cover every electrical outlet in your home. Open outlets are an invitation to danger. Try to use child-resistant outlet covers.
9. Get safety gates up. Install hardware mounted safety gates at the top and bottom of staircases with 2 or more steps.
10. Always hold onto the safety railing when carrying your child up and down the steps.
11. Lock windows to prevent your child from falling outside.
12. Install cabinet locks. On your ground level kitchen and utility cabinets, get some good cabinet locks installed. Do the same for low drawers.
13. Make sure closets can be opened from the inside, so that your child doesn't get locked in.
14. Move cleaners far from your baby's reach; do not keep them under the sink.
15. Throw out plastic grocery bags and dry cleaning bags immediately; these can cause suffocation.
16. Secure the poisons. Lock any potentially dangerous substances in an upper-level cabinet. This includes alcoholic beverages, household cleaning chemicals, laundry detergent, medication (prescription and non prescription), mosquito spray, pesticides, charcoal, lighter fuel and paint.
17. Never use hot tap water for mixing your baby's formula or food.
18. Secure garbage behind a latched door or make sure it has a tight secure lid.
19. Watch the plants. Place houseplants out of children's reach; know the names of all plants in case a child eats one of them.
20. Never leave your baby alone with pets that the baby could reach for and that may cause harm, especially dogs and cats. Animals always avoid confrontation, but can react strongly if they’re annoyed, threatened or even jealous.
21. Never leave your baby alone in the bathroom for any reason. Babies can drown very easily and quickly without constant supervision.
22. Turn off the hot water first when running bathtub water, so that if your baby accidentally turns on the water, he or she is not burned by water left in the tap.
23. Keep the bathroom door closed and latched. Small children are capable of drowning in toilet bowls.
24. Set the thermostat of your hot water heater to no higher than 48ºC to reduce the chance of scalds or burns. It takes only 3 seconds for a child to get a 3rd-degree burn from water at 60ºC.

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…prepare for your partner's body changes

• Your partner will not see dramatic changes during the first month after conception, except that she will rest some more.
• Near the end of the first month, many women begin to experience more pronounced nausea, especially in the early morning or evening hours.
• Most pregnant women will discover a little enlargement of the breasts, with added tenderness.

• She will gain a little weight around her hips and her breasts become firmer.
• The umbilical cord is being formed, which will make her more and more tired for this being pretty demanding on her body.
• The pretty serious mood swings will start now and continue through her pregnancy.
• Hormonal issues will make your partner craving some foods and getting sick with the thought of others.

• She will feel totally out of her body, as the baby begins to develop now.
• While her sex drive may be good, she may just be too tired to enjoy it.

• This is the time the whole world will see the physical changes.
• She'll begin to feel a little more comfortable with herself in terms of the pregnancy.
• There may be some new concerns like aching joints or skin problems. These are the result of the rapidly increasing levels of hormones in her system.

• She will have more energy as a lot of the hard work her body has been doing takes a break.
• The baby will be moving around a little by this stage. At the right moments, you'll be able to feel the baby moving with a well placed hand on her abdomen.

• A little more fatigue will set in during this month.
• You and your partner will see noticeable changes in her breasts. Her areolae will get larger and darker; and will likely stay that way until after the birth.

• During this month as the baby grows more rapidly, your partner will feel some discomfort as her internal organs are compressed upward.
• She may also experience some constipation; she can take a mild stool softener.

• As the baby grows mom's center of gravity changes. She will likely experience some lower back pain, and may have more difficulty getting up and down and walking.
• This stage will also affect her ability to sleep; this lack of sleep, combined with the hormonal issues, will make her a little more grumpy and testy.
• She may experience some swelling in her hands and feet.

• Your partner's breasts will get heavier and may even begin to leak colostrum, which will be the baby's first nourishment after birth.

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…make the most of her pregnancy

1. Show interest. Your wife may want to discuss certain things again and again, but that is because it is important to her and ultimately to you too. Join her for medical check-ups when you can, if you have trouble getting away be sure to make it to the big ones like the first heartbeat and the ultrasounds.
2. Rub her feet. This is a great way to pamper her and it will relieve her of a lot of tension and fatigue. It is also a great way to create time to catch up and talk.
3. Do house chores. This might sound like something that is very low priority but it will lift some weight of her shoulders. She will love the fact that you are willing to also contribute in this way.
4. Stay romantic. Take her out for dinner, like a date! It is very important to spend time together as a couple, even though the baby may be dominating both of your minds.
5. Take childbirth classes. Don't worry about turning green or looking silly. These classes will help you tremendously once she's in labor. A good class should prepare you for anything along the way. It also gives you a chance to ask questions.
6. Fill the gas tank. Sounds silly, but the fumes can make her feel ill and aren't good for her or your baby. This small act of kindness will go along way.
7. Read a book and surf the net. No need to make it a full-time activity, but it is good to show her that you want to learn about pregnancy. Not to mention reading can give you an edge up and provide you with some talking points for future conversations.
8. Let her nap! If mom is exhausted an hour nap when she comes home can make a world of difference, as could sleeping late during the weekend. If you really want to score points: serve her breakfast in bed!
9. Feel the baby. The mother feels most of the moves the baby makes. You may be just a too late in putting your hand on your partners tummy to feel the baby move. Why not let your hand rest on her tummy when both of you are watching TV or when you are in bed reading or chatting. Ask her first! You will have a better chance of feeling a move the longer your hand is on her tummy.
10. Help with small things. A great husband tries to do small things, just to save her some time, make things easier for her. Find joy in being the one who makes things run smoothly around the house. Be the problem solver and you will be your wife’s hero. 

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…deliver a baby in an emergency

1. Don't panic.
2. Call for help, if possible. (doctor or ambulance)
3. Remind the mother to breathe slowly.
4. Place hand on baby's head, allowing it to come out slowly.
5. Do not pull on the baby's head or body.
6. As the baby is born gently stroke downward on the baby's nose.
7. Place the baby skin to skin with the mother.
8. Place something warm over both of them.
9. Have mother breastfeed baby, if possible.
10. If placenta is born, place next to baby.
11. Wait for assistance, or finish driving to the hospital or clinic.

Tips:

1. Grab towels or shirts to wrap mom and baby up if possible. If in a car look for emergency blanket.
2. Cutting the cord can cause mom and/or baby to bleed and removes source of oxygen for baby.
3. Having mom breastfeed reduces the amount of blood she loses.

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…comfort your wife in labor

1. Massage her face; this may help to relax her and release stress.
2. Remind her to go to the bathroom every hour. A full bladder is both uncomfortable as well as a slowing factor during labor.
3. Labor is exhausting. If the doctor allows it, encourage her to drink and eat something to replenish her energy.
4. Try a cool wet cloth for her face and neck. Gently washing her face can make her feel refreshed while she’s working so hard.
5. Water in labor can relieve different pains. Try the shower or bath.
6. Apply a heat pad, warm rice sock or blanket to her lower back, legs and hips.
7. Help her to change positions in order to encourage the progress of labor.
8. Give her counterpressure if her back is hurting. Press with your hands where, when and how hard she wants it.
9. Just be there for her. Be near to help her when she needs it, even if she doesn’t want to be touched. It is important for her to know that you are there for her.
10. Remind her why she is doing all this: your baby!

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…help babies sleep

1. Don't be too proud or embarrassed to sing softly and even talk to your baby. The sound of your voice is very reassuring to your baby and it is part of the bonding process. Your baby will quickly learn to associate your voice with safety and security.
2. Gentle bouncing works sometimes. But be careful not to bounce your baby too much or you may upset your baby's tummy.
3. Pacifiers work too. Some babies find comfort in a pacifier. Others refuse to accept it especially if your wife is breastfeeding.
4. Breastfeeding mothers need help. Fathers can’t sit back and relax! If your wife is breastfeeding she will love you more for taking the time to get up and bring your baby to her. It seems like a small thing now, but at 3 a.m. in the morning it's a beautiful gesture.
5. Take shifts with your wife. Agree before you go to bed at night which of you will get up with the baby first. It might help to simply pick even and odd hours. For example, if the baby wakes up during the 11pm, 1am, 3am, 5am hours then you get up. If it's during the 12am, 2am, 4am, 6am hours then your wife will wake up with the baby. It helps to have a plan before you go to sleep at night. This will prevent the anger and frustration of the moment when neither one of you wants to get up.
6. Learn the different ways your baby likes to be held. Some like to be held chest to chest. Others like to be cradled. And still others like to be seated facing away from you. Find the position that your baby feels most comfortable in try soothing them in that position.
7. Rocking, either in a chair or in the bassinet, can also be helpful means of helping ease your baby back to sleep.
8. Pacing the floor can be very soothing to some babies. In fact some babies will transition from a "deathly scream" to silence if you put him or her chest to chest with the head on your shoulder and simply start pacing the room. While pacing the room you'll discover dents and spots that you had never noticed before.
9. Placing a warm heating pad in your babies cradle before bed time can ease the transition when laying baby down for the first time at night. NOTE: The heating pad should never be left in the cradle with your baby.
10. A warm bath in a baby tub can also be a great way to soothe your baby before bedtime. It's important that you have a towel to wrap your baby in right away after the bath. This will eliminate him or her from getting cold.

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…bond with your new baby

1. Don't try to compete with mom. Your baby's mom has some natural, built in advantages in the bonding process. If she is breastfeeding, she gets lots of quality touch and eye-contact time with the baby. She also has the benefit of post-partum hormones that give her natural bonding feelings. So don't try to compete with nature. You will not bond as quickly as she will. But you need to take steps to make quality bonding time with baby.
2. See eye to eye. One of the things a breastfeeding mom learns is that holding a baby at her breast puts the baby at the perfect location for baby's vision. Cradle baby in your arms at about chest level, and you'll be at the right spot for connecting visually. Eye contact helps you build a bond with your little one.
3. Keep in touch. Babies have pretty limited communication skills as an infant. But one meaningful way babies can communicate is through touch. Babies love being skin to skin, so take off your shirt and put the baby on your chest. Massage her gently; caress her arms, legs, hands and feet. Repeated loving touch will help baby connect with you better and faster.
4. Connect with music. Babies love music, and they find a soothing spirit when dad sings and dances with them. Put some fun music on the sound system and hold baby while you dance. Lullabies can be a real bonding experience also as you sing baby to sleep.
5. Become part of the routine. Often, mom tends to be the primary caregiver for your baby. But many things that are part of mom's and baby's routine can be taken care of by an interested dad. Consider giving your baby a bath, taking him on a walk, or feeding him from time to time. You'll give that tired mother a break, and create some new bonding time with the baby.
6. Just jump in. Lots of new dads are a little nervous to get involved in this bonding process. They feel uncertain about what to do and when to do it. New dads who have been there recommend that you just start. Pick up the baby and start following some of these ideas.
7. Check in with the doctor. Dads may be tempted to skip those "well baby" visits to the pediatrician. Take the time off work to go with mom and baby to the doctor. This is a good time to learn more about your baby and how he is doing. More information will help you feel closer to the baby.
8. Be patient through the process. The very nature of the bonding process between baby and father is different and tends to take longer than the process of bonding between baby and mom. Don't get discouraged as the process develops; the feelings of bonding are worth the wait, and will pay big dividends later.
9. Being a committed dad involves an investment of time, and that applies at all stages of your child's life. When she is an infant, the time investment is in holding, cuddling, singing, and bonding. If you invest the time in this bonding during her infancy, you will maintain and enhance that feeling of closeness as she grows and matures. It is an important investment to make, now and in the future.

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…know when to call the baby's doctor

Know when your baby has the hiccups or when he’s snoring, but also know when it’s time to call your baby’s doctor.

1. Fevers. The rule for babies is if his or her rectal temperature is more than 37,8ºC for a 0 to 3 month baby or more than 38,3ºC for a 3 to 6 month old baby, call the doctor. Also, if the baby has a fever of any level and his or her behavior is unusual, call.
2. Not Hungry. If the baby won't eat for two consecutive feedings, it's a good warning sign. Babies can't sustain long periods without food or water without the risk of dehydration.
3. Moods. This is a tough one because babies are often moody by nature. But if your baby is dull or unresponsive to people, sights or sounds, it is an indicator of trouble.
4. Breathing. All babies breathe, and sometimes in unique ways. But if you notice repeated, unusually rapid or heavy breathing, you should call a doctor.
5. Digestive Stuff. If your baby has 3 or more episodes of vomiting or diarrhea, or if there is blood in baby's vomit or stool, it is time to make a call. Lots of vomiting and diarrhea are the cause of dehydration, and blood in vomit or stool can mean lots of things, none of them good. If your child has eaten or ingested any medication, household product or foreign object, you should call.
6. Crying. All babies cry, but if he or she is crying continuously and uncontrollably for 2 or more hours, there is definitely something wrong.
7. Accidents. If the baby has suffered a burn or other serious injury, call the doctor. Babies don't react to things like older children do, and a burn, sprain, large bruise or other injury can be pretty dangerous if not treated promptly.
8. When in doubt; make the call. Even if your gut just tells you something is wrong, it is better to be safe than sorry. One of the biggest responsibilities of a dad is to protect his child from avoidable problems, and calling the pediatrician can be the best thing you can do when you don't know what else to do.

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…be Today’s Dad

1. Today’s Dad has a plan. Once you’re a dad it is not sufficient to just take things as they come. You need to plan ahead. For a start, make sure you plan holidays and days off to spend with your family. Work can always be demanding and suck up your time. Planning will also push you to setting family goals and act on it.
2. Today’s Dad makes time to teach. Both mothers and fathers have this responsibility. It is important to understand that a father’s main mission is to help their children learn values of personal responsibility, work, honesty, faith and love. Make time and give it focus.
3. Today’s Dad makes one-on-one time. Next to spending time with the whole family, make sure you also spend enough time with only you and your child. If you have more than 1 child, spend time with each child individually. One-on-one time is for fun, but also for ‘serious chats’.
4. Today’s Dad has time for family. Spending ‘quality time’ with the family is extremely important. But, when it comes to family, ‘quality time’ also needs to be ‘quantity time’. Spending time together as a family has been proven to be very important to the social development of children.
5. Today’s Dad takes care of himself. Yes, you are totally entitled to your own personal needs also! Eat sensibly, get some exercise, keep in touch with friends, go for a physical and dental check-up and have a rich spiritual life. All of these are crucial components of being a great dad.
6. Today’s Dad focus on relationships. Take a good piece of advice: “The best thing a dad can do for his children is to love their mother.” Personal relationships are essential for a happy life. Relationships with your wife, your children, your friends; never neglect your loved ones. Teach your children to see the importance of relationships in their lives also.

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...have great postpartum sex

Your sex life can change a lot during the pregnancy of your wife. Her desire most probably changes and even yours may change also. So, it is quite normal to be concerned about how your sex life will be during and after pregnancy. You may be worried about whether the baby will have a negative effect on your sex life. The good news is that most couples find that their sex lives get better. Different but better.

1. Take your time to warm up and focus on foreplay. No need to rush. Pushing your wife to have sex before her mind and body are ready will harm your relationship.
2. A great way to have fun is to shower together! Or bathe together. Not only will it save time and money for water but you might enjoy the setting.
3. Discuss birth control. Don't be someone who is caught two months after the birth of your baby wondering if your wife got pregnant because both of you took a chance.
4. Try to plan some time alone for the two of you, even if it's just to cuddle. Having a baby may leave you feeling "touched out," but some special cozy time with your partner can help revive that, even before sexual intercourse is allowed or wanted.
5. Life with a baby is different; different for both of you. Get to know each other a bit better.  Remember you both have to adjust your life to being parents, even if it's not your first child.
6. Be spontaneous! Bedtime might not always be the right time. Nor will the bedroom always be the right place. Add some spice to your sex life, act like a teenager!
7. Lubrication! Make sure you and your partner take enough time to get into the mood. If you think you need some more help than what Mother Nature is providing, be sure to use an over the counter lubricant rather than worry needlessly. If you're still concerned talk to your practitioner.
8. Go for quality not quantity. Having sex every night or every week should not be an objective. Figure out what timing is right for you, your wife and your relationship.
9. Invite your wife to talk about any fears of sexual intercourse she may have. Maybe she is worried about the repair of an episiotomy or stitches or the recent images of delivering a baby.
10. Accept that your wife may say ‘no’. This has nothing to do with loving you less or finding you less attractive. Sometimes the moment is just not there. There are also compromises that can be made along the way. Maybe intercourse is out but some good old-fashioned kissing and touching may be OK?

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…say I love you to your child

1. Use eye contact. When you say ‘I love you’, look your child in the eye. Anything you say becomes meaningful if you make eye contact, from the youngest age. It will help you bond.
2. Touch. Touch is magic. Be generous with hugs, pats on the back, a gentle touch of the face when you spend time with your child.
3. Use names. The best for any pair of ears: hearing your own name. Names make whatever you say very personal. Names establish a connection. Give your ‘I love you’ a boost by adding your child’s name.
4. Add non-verbal signals to what you say. A friendly face and a smile reinforce your expression of love. Turn your entire body to face your child to not only sound but look sincere.
5. Express your love without condition. Do not use words like ‘when’ when you say ‘I love you’. “I love you when you when you are so cheerful’ may be heard as ‘I only love you when…’, which creates a sense of fear.
6. Don’t use the word ‘but’. The use of the word ‘but’ often indicates a problem, a concern or frustration. It takes away all of the magic of your expression of love. A child will feel that it is a warm-up before the real message comes.
7. Say ‘I love you’ at unexpected times. The best is to receive an expression of love when you don’t expect it. Don’t only say it when you go out the door to go to work. Say it at unexpected times, while driving, when bathing, during dinner.

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